We recently saw the new Shrek 2 movie. It was an absolute blast, we loved everything about it; the characters (Antonio Banderas, Puss-In-Boots is great), the jokes, the imagery.
The Shrek 2 Website has a loads of extras which are mildly diverting.
Sunday, September 26, 2004
More of wot I have read...
A Very English Agent, by Julian Rathbone
This is a slightly odd story. Imagine James Bond - Licensed to Kill, but set in the 1800's. It is an interesting read but the constant references to historical events, twisted for the purposes of the story, is a little disturbing - but entertaining.
'December 1852. Shortly after the funeral of the Duke of Wellington, Charlie Boylan attempts to enter the Palace of Westminster with a loaded pistol in his pocket. He is owed, so he says, a substantial sum be the government department he has worked for over many years - an adjunct of the Home Office that specialises in subterfuge and espionage. Imprisoned in Pentonville, Charlie writes his extraordinary memoirs to prove has claims. In A Very English Agent, Julian Rathbone combines his uncanny talent for wit and adventure with a compelling portrait of an England that history often neglects: the dark embers of the ninteenth century, when repression was bloody, commonplace and orchestrated from on high.'
This is a slightly odd story. Imagine James Bond - Licensed to Kill, but set in the 1800's. It is an interesting read but the constant references to historical events, twisted for the purposes of the story, is a little disturbing - but entertaining.
'December 1852. Shortly after the funeral of the Duke of Wellington, Charlie Boylan attempts to enter the Palace of Westminster with a loaded pistol in his pocket. He is owed, so he says, a substantial sum be the government department he has worked for over many years - an adjunct of the Home Office that specialises in subterfuge and espionage. Imprisoned in Pentonville, Charlie writes his extraordinary memoirs to prove has claims. In A Very English Agent, Julian Rathbone combines his uncanny talent for wit and adventure with a compelling portrait of an England that history often neglects: the dark embers of the ninteenth century, when repression was bloody, commonplace and orchestrated from on high.'
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Edinburgh Festival Best (or worst) Jokes
The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died... Dido must be shitting herself.
- Colin & Fergus at the Pleasance
My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child... well maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night.
- Susan Murray at the Underbelly
Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks?
- Adam Bloom at the Pleasance
My mum and dad are Scottish but they moved down to Wolverhampton when I was two, 'cause they wanted me to sound like a twat.
- Susan Murray at the Underbelly
Q: Who are the most decent people in the hospital?
A: The ultrasound people.
- David O'Doherty at the Gilded Balloon
I went to the airport to check in and they asked what I did because I looked like a terrorist. I said I was a comedian. They said, "Say something funny then." I told them I had just graduated from flying school.
- Ahmed Ahmed at C34
A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, "All right, but we're not going to get much done."
- Jimmy Carr at the ICC
I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
- Marcus Brigstocke at the Assembly Rooms
Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your cat dance with you on its hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it as well.
- Scott Capurro at the Pleasance
My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
- Jimmy Carr at the ICC
You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you, because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite flower?" And you murmur to yourself: "Shit, I wasn't listening... self-raising?"
- Addy Van-Der-Borgh at the Assembly Rooms
The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and punched someone in the face.
- Jeremy Limb, at the Trap
Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.
- Jimmy Carr
My friend said to me: "You must be more American," so I went to have botox. The surgeon said to me: "That's $8,000." I couldn't even look shocked.
- Shazia Mirza at the Pleasance
I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".
- Mark Watson, Rhod Gilbert at the Tron
I went out with an Irish Catholic. Very frustrating. You can take the Girl out of Cork...
- Markus Birdman at the Pod Deco
Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along. Turned out it was a bloody hoax.
- Adrian Poynton at the Pleasance
A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please". The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go join The circus?" The dog replies: "Well, what would the circus want with a plumber".
- Steven Alan Green at C34
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
- Demetri Martin at the Assembly Rooms
An American girl hit on me in a club and asked me to make her an Egyptian princess. So I threw a sheet over her head and told her to be quiet.
- Ahmed Ahmed at C34
Walking down Princes Street, soaking up the atmosphere, I saw a big sign that said: "Bus tours, ten quid." So I thought I'd give it a try... what a rip off. Ten quid to have a look round a bus!
- Seymour Mace at Cafe Royal
I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really loud "I've already got one!"
- Norman Lovett at The Stand
The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.
- Chris Addison at the Pleasance
Ask people about God nowadays and they usually reply, "I'm not religious, but deep down, I'm a very spiritual person." What this phrase really means is: "I'm afraid of dying, but I can't be arsed going to church."
- Colin Ramone at The Stand
50 Cent, or as he's called over here, approximately 29p.
- Sarah Kendall at the Pleasance
I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this sign: "This door is alarmed." I said to myself: "How do you think I feel?"
- Arnold Brown at The Stand
'Schindler's List'... I got that out, thinking it was a porn movie. Well... the title's in German... and it did feature a shower scene.
- Ricky Gervais at The Playhouse
- Colin & Fergus at the Pleasance
My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child... well maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night.
- Susan Murray at the Underbelly
Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks?
- Adam Bloom at the Pleasance
My mum and dad are Scottish but they moved down to Wolverhampton when I was two, 'cause they wanted me to sound like a twat.
- Susan Murray at the Underbelly
Q: Who are the most decent people in the hospital?
A: The ultrasound people.
- David O'Doherty at the Gilded Balloon
I went to the airport to check in and they asked what I did because I looked like a terrorist. I said I was a comedian. They said, "Say something funny then." I told them I had just graduated from flying school.
- Ahmed Ahmed at C34
A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, "All right, but we're not going to get much done."
- Jimmy Carr at the ICC
I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
- Marcus Brigstocke at the Assembly Rooms
Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your cat dance with you on its hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it as well.
- Scott Capurro at the Pleasance
My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
- Jimmy Carr at the ICC
You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you, because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite flower?" And you murmur to yourself: "Shit, I wasn't listening... self-raising?"
- Addy Van-Der-Borgh at the Assembly Rooms
The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and punched someone in the face.
- Jeremy Limb, at the Trap
Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.
- Jimmy Carr
My friend said to me: "You must be more American," so I went to have botox. The surgeon said to me: "That's $8,000." I couldn't even look shocked.
- Shazia Mirza at the Pleasance
I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".
- Mark Watson, Rhod Gilbert at the Tron
I went out with an Irish Catholic. Very frustrating. You can take the Girl out of Cork...
- Markus Birdman at the Pod Deco
Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along. Turned out it was a bloody hoax.
- Adrian Poynton at the Pleasance
A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please". The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go join The circus?" The dog replies: "Well, what would the circus want with a plumber".
- Steven Alan Green at C34
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
- Demetri Martin at the Assembly Rooms
An American girl hit on me in a club and asked me to make her an Egyptian princess. So I threw a sheet over her head and told her to be quiet.
- Ahmed Ahmed at C34
Walking down Princes Street, soaking up the atmosphere, I saw a big sign that said: "Bus tours, ten quid." So I thought I'd give it a try... what a rip off. Ten quid to have a look round a bus!
- Seymour Mace at Cafe Royal
I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really loud "I've already got one!"
- Norman Lovett at The Stand
The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.
- Chris Addison at the Pleasance
Ask people about God nowadays and they usually reply, "I'm not religious, but deep down, I'm a very spiritual person." What this phrase really means is: "I'm afraid of dying, but I can't be arsed going to church."
- Colin Ramone at The Stand
50 Cent, or as he's called over here, approximately 29p.
- Sarah Kendall at the Pleasance
I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this sign: "This door is alarmed." I said to myself: "How do you think I feel?"
- Arnold Brown at The Stand
'Schindler's List'... I got that out, thinking it was a porn movie. Well... the title's in German... and it did feature a shower scene.
- Ricky Gervais at The Playhouse
Virtually Writing...
I have decided to start adding my collection of stories to another 'blog' and so I have set up Virtually Writing...
http://virtuallywriting.blogspot.com/
http://virtuallywriting.blogspot.com/
Back down to earth…
It seems like ages since I last 'blogged'.
We successfully saw Jamie installed in his accommodation and he is very happy. He has lucked-out with the house he is in. He has the largest room in a decent house in a nice, tree lined, street convenient for the University, College and local amenities (bars, take-aways, discount booze shops etc.). There are 5 other first-year guys in the house and, apart from one; he is getting on well with them. He has found is way around to most places (the Student Union, Campus night-club 'Asylum'. Oh! And his classes).
We spent last week in France with my Aunt and Uncle at a hotel in a tiny hilltop village of Fox Amphoux in the Provence region.
As is usual for our holidays the main driving themes were food, wine and local culture. The first was easily achieved, as our expanded waistline can attest. Similarly there was no shortage of the second and we managed to sample quite a few of the local varieties, many of which are little known outside of Provence. The last was found in the many small villages and towns in the region (for those of you even remotely interested I will try and detail some of these in a separate blog).
I am back at work again plodding alone doing the same-old same old. I have moved to another area of the office where I can see out of a window now at the industrial estate and the trees, which are starting to yellow with the autumn leaves.
I had to get a new thermostat and water pump for the car the other day and I was very pleased to only pay £200 for the repairs. I was worried that the head gasket might have blown, and that could have been almost as expensive as the car itself.
Many of our summer crops are coming to an end at the allotment. Sue has frozen plenty of tomatoes, corn, blackberries and other bits and pieces, and she has made many sauces, chutneys and pickles too. The cucumbers, courgettes, and tomatoes are pretty much at an end now. Now that the weather has started to cool down we are looking at the greens and root vegetables for hot dishes. We have done really well with potatoes having about three big sacks to see us through next year. Unfortunately we didn't do well with the garlic, but we did pick a lovely bunch while we were in France (wonder what the sniffer dog thought of that - especially as we stuck it in the bag with the dirty washing!)
Sue is now busily clearing out Jamie's old room in preparation for redecoration (reconstruction more like). We are hoping to make into a study-computer-games room with a sofa bed for when Jamie is back during the holidays.
Our small gaming group has been playing tabletop 'war-games' for the last few weeks. We all have Games Workshop 40K armies and have been facing off against each other in quick games of Kill-Teams (small groups in hit and run type skirmishes). I play an Ork army and so far they are the only Kill-Team that has succeeded in its mission. James plays Tau and Kevin plays Dark Eldar, there are still a few different combinations to go so things are certain to change.
I am still doing my writing with the NZIBS on their student forum bulletin board and I am enjoying it very much. The other students and tutors are very supportive and are encouraging me to submit a few stories to publishers. I would love to have something turned into print, so I am certainly thinking about it.
We successfully saw Jamie installed in his accommodation and he is very happy. He has lucked-out with the house he is in. He has the largest room in a decent house in a nice, tree lined, street convenient for the University, College and local amenities (bars, take-aways, discount booze shops etc.). There are 5 other first-year guys in the house and, apart from one; he is getting on well with them. He has found is way around to most places (the Student Union, Campus night-club 'Asylum'. Oh! And his classes).
We spent last week in France with my Aunt and Uncle at a hotel in a tiny hilltop village of Fox Amphoux in the Provence region.
As is usual for our holidays the main driving themes were food, wine and local culture. The first was easily achieved, as our expanded waistline can attest. Similarly there was no shortage of the second and we managed to sample quite a few of the local varieties, many of which are little known outside of Provence. The last was found in the many small villages and towns in the region (for those of you even remotely interested I will try and detail some of these in a separate blog).
I am back at work again plodding alone doing the same-old same old. I have moved to another area of the office where I can see out of a window now at the industrial estate and the trees, which are starting to yellow with the autumn leaves.
I had to get a new thermostat and water pump for the car the other day and I was very pleased to only pay £200 for the repairs. I was worried that the head gasket might have blown, and that could have been almost as expensive as the car itself.
Many of our summer crops are coming to an end at the allotment. Sue has frozen plenty of tomatoes, corn, blackberries and other bits and pieces, and she has made many sauces, chutneys and pickles too. The cucumbers, courgettes, and tomatoes are pretty much at an end now. Now that the weather has started to cool down we are looking at the greens and root vegetables for hot dishes. We have done really well with potatoes having about three big sacks to see us through next year. Unfortunately we didn't do well with the garlic, but we did pick a lovely bunch while we were in France (wonder what the sniffer dog thought of that - especially as we stuck it in the bag with the dirty washing!)
Sue is now busily clearing out Jamie's old room in preparation for redecoration (reconstruction more like). We are hoping to make into a study-computer-games room with a sofa bed for when Jamie is back during the holidays.
Our small gaming group has been playing tabletop 'war-games' for the last few weeks. We all have Games Workshop 40K armies and have been facing off against each other in quick games of Kill-Teams (small groups in hit and run type skirmishes). I play an Ork army and so far they are the only Kill-Team that has succeeded in its mission. James plays Tau and Kevin plays Dark Eldar, there are still a few different combinations to go so things are certain to change.
I am still doing my writing with the NZIBS on their student forum bulletin board and I am enjoying it very much. The other students and tutors are very supportive and are encouraging me to submit a few stories to publishers. I would love to have something turned into print, so I am certainly thinking about it.
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Flying the nest…
Well, Jamie's done it. He has been accepted to the University of Hull to do a Computer Science degree. Due to his slightly disappointing grades he had to go through the nerve wracking and incredibly bureaucratic Clearing process. His first choice of Oxford Brookes turned him down and his second choice, Greenwich, offered a lesser degree and pissed him about so much that he looked at other institutions. As it turned out he got offers from Bradford and Hull (both much better universities). He is having to do the four year course that includes a foundation year in a local collage, but he is in the degree course, so if he does well he goes on to do the next three years at the university.
Jamie went up for the day on Monday to look around and to try and finalise some details (like accommodation!). He didn't manage to find some where he really liked to stay so we are going up with him tonight so that we can spend all day Friday getting him somewhere to live.
Talk about last minute. Sue and I are off to France on Sunday with Joyce and Terry for a week, and Jamie starts his orientation and 'freshers' week on Monday.
Needless to say everyone is a little tense (much crying, wailing and gnashing of teeth).
It doesn’t get any easier as they get older - the problems just change.
Fingers crossed, touch wood, rabbits foot and any other good-luck charms welcomed.
Jamie went up for the day on Monday to look around and to try and finalise some details (like accommodation!). He didn't manage to find some where he really liked to stay so we are going up with him tonight so that we can spend all day Friday getting him somewhere to live.
Talk about last minute. Sue and I are off to France on Sunday with Joyce and Terry for a week, and Jamie starts his orientation and 'freshers' week on Monday.
Needless to say everyone is a little tense (much crying, wailing and gnashing of teeth).
It doesn’t get any easier as they get older - the problems just change.
Fingers crossed, touch wood, rabbits foot and any other good-luck charms welcomed.
Dean & Michelle's housewarming…
Last weekend we went up to celebrate Dean and Michelle's move into their new flat. Terry, Ross, Heather and several other friends of D&M were also there.
It was a lovely balmy summer evening and we had a great time drinking and eating and putting the world to rights.
Dean fired up his new shiny black gas BBQ and cooked up a mountain of meat. Michelle had put together some impressive salads and dips. Heather brought along a bottle of Pimms and made a summer punch which never strayed to far from her reach.
A selection of cheese and an impressive array of Port finished the evening off nicely.
It was a lovely balmy summer evening and we had a great time drinking and eating and putting the world to rights.
Dean fired up his new shiny black gas BBQ and cooked up a mountain of meat. Michelle had put together some impressive salads and dips. Heather brought along a bottle of Pimms and made a summer punch which never strayed to far from her reach.
A selection of cheese and an impressive array of Port finished the evening off nicely.
The Village
M. Night Shyamalan's movie is pretty much on a par with his previous film, Signs. That's to say it is no where near as good as Sixth Sense. It is however a fairly entertaining diversion if you have nothing better to do.
The Village web site
Let not the bad colour be seen. It attracts them.
Oh yeah! Also remember…
It is not wise to run screaming through a forest if you are a blind girl.
The Village web site
Let not the bad colour be seen. It attracts them.
Oh yeah! Also remember…
It is not wise to run screaming through a forest if you are a blind girl.
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Petworth House & Park
In our continuing exploration of the UK's history and culture we visited another National Trust property recently.
Petworth House is a very interesting and complete manor house with a very important role in the UK's history. The visit was enhanced by a delightfully entertaining and informative talk by one of the guides in the chapel.
Magnificent country house and park with an internationally important art collection. The vast late 17th-century mansion is set in a beautiful park, landscaped by ‘Capability’ Brown and immortalised in Turner’s paintings. The house contains the Trust’s finest and largest collection of pictures, with numerous works by Turner, Van Dyck, Reynolds and Blake, as well as ancient and neo-classical sculpture, fine furniture and carvings by Grinling Gibbons. The Servants’ Quarters contain interesting kitchens (including a splendid copper batterie de cuisine of over 1000 pieces) and other service rooms.
Petworth House is a very interesting and complete manor house with a very important role in the UK's history. The visit was enhanced by a delightfully entertaining and informative talk by one of the guides in the chapel.
Magnificent country house and park with an internationally important art collection. The vast late 17th-century mansion is set in a beautiful park, landscaped by ‘Capability’ Brown and immortalised in Turner’s paintings. The house contains the Trust’s finest and largest collection of pictures, with numerous works by Turner, Van Dyck, Reynolds and Blake, as well as ancient and neo-classical sculpture, fine furniture and carvings by Grinling Gibbons. The Servants’ Quarters contain interesting kitchens (including a splendid copper batterie de cuisine of over 1000 pieces) and other service rooms.
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
The scramble for places…
Jamie has received his exams results and unfortunately they were not quite as good as he wanted. This meant he didn’t get into his first choice university. He now has to battle with the ‘clearing’ process looking around for alternative universities and courses.
There are so many more kids trying to get into university these days as it seems impossible to get even ordinary jobs without having some form of tertiary education. If you can’t beat them, join them.
Although neither Sue nor I ever went to university we have always felt that a large part of the education process is the opportunity to get a taste of independence in a reasonable safe environment. To this end we have encouraged Jamie to look at universities that would require him to go into halls or start flatting. To Jamie’s credit he is very keen on this too, so much so that he’d rather pick an university that none of his friends are going to so that he is forced to make new friends.
After several days of phone calls and internet searches he has got a few offers in for computer courses at different establishments. There is still more work to do before everything is sorted, but it seems to be heading in the right direction. The next step would be the logistics; accommodation, funding, transportation and all that.
Jamie is being very positive about everything. In fact Sue and I seem to be more stressed than he is. After all you just want the best for them.
There are so many more kids trying to get into university these days as it seems impossible to get even ordinary jobs without having some form of tertiary education. If you can’t beat them, join them.
Although neither Sue nor I ever went to university we have always felt that a large part of the education process is the opportunity to get a taste of independence in a reasonable safe environment. To this end we have encouraged Jamie to look at universities that would require him to go into halls or start flatting. To Jamie’s credit he is very keen on this too, so much so that he’d rather pick an university that none of his friends are going to so that he is forced to make new friends.
After several days of phone calls and internet searches he has got a few offers in for computer courses at different establishments. There is still more work to do before everything is sorted, but it seems to be heading in the right direction. The next step would be the logistics; accommodation, funding, transportation and all that.
Jamie is being very positive about everything. In fact Sue and I seem to be more stressed than he is. After all you just want the best for them.
More of wot I have read...
To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee
This is the latest ‘modern classic’ I have read, and it is a corker. The story and characters are very engaging. Atticus Finch – what a man, what a hero. Boo Radley – now I know where the band got their name. Scout - a fantastic breath of fresh air.
‘Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit ’em, but remember it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.
A lawyer’s advice to his children as he defends the real mockingbird of this enchanting classic – a black man charged with the rape of a white girl.
Through the young eyes of Scout and Jem Finch, Harper Lee explores with exuberant humour the irrationality of adult attitudes to race and class in the Deep South of the thirties.
The conscience of a town steeped in prejudice, violence and hypocrisy is pricked by the stamina of one man’s struggle for justice.
But the weight of history will only tolerate so much…’
This is the latest ‘modern classic’ I have read, and it is a corker. The story and characters are very engaging. Atticus Finch – what a man, what a hero. Boo Radley – now I know where the band got their name. Scout - a fantastic breath of fresh air.
‘Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit ’em, but remember it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.
A lawyer’s advice to his children as he defends the real mockingbird of this enchanting classic – a black man charged with the rape of a white girl.
Through the young eyes of Scout and Jem Finch, Harper Lee explores with exuberant humour the irrationality of adult attitudes to race and class in the Deep South of the thirties.
The conscience of a town steeped in prejudice, violence and hypocrisy is pricked by the stamina of one man’s struggle for justice.
But the weight of history will only tolerate so much…’
Soft food and sympathy…
Well that’s over and done with. At least the consultant did everything at once, so I won’t need to go in for another op’. In the end the operation entailed the removal of the cyst, the impacted wisdom tooth and two other molars. I don’t know what to do with my tongue as half my teeth on the left side are missing and there is only a bloody (literary) hole left.
Tell you what though; private medical insurance sure buys you a very different class of service. The hospital was more like a hotel. I was checked in almost as soon as we turned up. I was asked if I would like a paper in the morning. Then I was taken around to my own room with on-suite facilities, a electric bed that needed a license to drive, and a TV with terrestrial, satellite and radio piped in. On my table was a book detailing all the facilities and a couple of menus; one for the evening meal and one for breakfast.
I was scheduled to go under the knife at 17:30, but as the nurses advised my consultant had a habit of running late. About an hour late I changed into the very sexy gown – fully ventilated at the rear for your embarrassment (these gowns come in one size and on me it looked like it was designed by Mary Quant).
It was an interesting experience being wheeled down the corridors watching the lights pass overhead, hearing the nurses and porters discuss everyday things and feeling the room fade away as the anaesthetic took effect. Waking up was not much fun. Disoriented and in pain and shock. I was very happy when I got back to my room and Sue, waiting to hold my hand.
It was not a very pleasant night. There was not much pain but the wound did bleed quite a lot through the night, so I didn’t sleep well and I was quite nauseous.
Naturally I didn’t feel like eating after the operation, but I was hungry in the morning. Sue had suggested I pick soft foods like Weetbix and a plate of scrambled egg.
I was home late morning and tucked up in bed with all the pillows and the remote controls.
Sue has been fantastic looking after me with soft food and sympathy.
My mouth is starting to swell up a bit now, but at least the bleeding has pretty much stopped. I have a selection of pills and in an effort to avoid infection I have my brush in sterilising fluid and a bottle of mouthwash. So with any luck I will be feeling better for the bank holiday weekend.
Tell you what though; private medical insurance sure buys you a very different class of service. The hospital was more like a hotel. I was checked in almost as soon as we turned up. I was asked if I would like a paper in the morning. Then I was taken around to my own room with on-suite facilities, a electric bed that needed a license to drive, and a TV with terrestrial, satellite and radio piped in. On my table was a book detailing all the facilities and a couple of menus; one for the evening meal and one for breakfast.
I was scheduled to go under the knife at 17:30, but as the nurses advised my consultant had a habit of running late. About an hour late I changed into the very sexy gown – fully ventilated at the rear for your embarrassment (these gowns come in one size and on me it looked like it was designed by Mary Quant).
It was an interesting experience being wheeled down the corridors watching the lights pass overhead, hearing the nurses and porters discuss everyday things and feeling the room fade away as the anaesthetic took effect. Waking up was not much fun. Disoriented and in pain and shock. I was very happy when I got back to my room and Sue, waiting to hold my hand.
It was not a very pleasant night. There was not much pain but the wound did bleed quite a lot through the night, so I didn’t sleep well and I was quite nauseous.
Naturally I didn’t feel like eating after the operation, but I was hungry in the morning. Sue had suggested I pick soft foods like Weetbix and a plate of scrambled egg.
I was home late morning and tucked up in bed with all the pillows and the remote controls.
Sue has been fantastic looking after me with soft food and sympathy.
My mouth is starting to swell up a bit now, but at least the bleeding has pretty much stopped. I have a selection of pills and in an effort to avoid infection I have my brush in sterilising fluid and a bottle of mouthwash. So with any luck I will be feeling better for the bank holiday weekend.
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Under the knife...
Well, in a couple of hours from now I will be in hospital about to have surgery on my jaw.
I have a cyst in my lower jaw under a wisdom tooth and molar. It had become infected and so I have already spent a few days in another (NHS) hospital getting IV antibiotics. It actually feels fine at the moment except for a little lack of sensation in my lip and front jaw (the cyst is pinching a nerve somewhere).
Today the consultant is going to perform a biopsy, and if things look OK he will continue with the extraction of the cyst, the molar and the wisdom tooth. If it is complicated he will reschedule the extraction for next week.
In case you couldn't tell, I am not keen on hospitals at all. In fact on the pre-admission form, in a section that asks about 'other concerns about the procedure' I put down - 'don't like needles'. Sue thought it was better to let them know before I collapsed in dead faint at their feet.
This time I am going private so at least I get my own room, though I will only be in overnight.
Hack, hack… slash, slash… spurt, spurt…
Ooh dear…
I think I need a lie down.
I have a cyst in my lower jaw under a wisdom tooth and molar. It had become infected and so I have already spent a few days in another (NHS) hospital getting IV antibiotics. It actually feels fine at the moment except for a little lack of sensation in my lip and front jaw (the cyst is pinching a nerve somewhere).
Today the consultant is going to perform a biopsy, and if things look OK he will continue with the extraction of the cyst, the molar and the wisdom tooth. If it is complicated he will reschedule the extraction for next week.
In case you couldn't tell, I am not keen on hospitals at all. In fact on the pre-admission form, in a section that asks about 'other concerns about the procedure' I put down - 'don't like needles'. Sue thought it was better to let them know before I collapsed in dead faint at their feet.
This time I am going private so at least I get my own room, though I will only be in overnight.
Hack, hack… slash, slash… spurt, spurt…
Ooh dear…
I think I need a lie down.
Monday, August 23, 2004
Historic Hampstead...
This weekend Sue and I decided to explore some of historic Hampstead. We rarely venture to North London, as it can be quite an ordeal. I don't drive through London if I can help it (especially with the congestion-charging zone in effect) and it would take forever to drive around. As it happens the places we wanted to visit were close to the Northern Line of the so we used the Tube. The Underground is not the most pleasant way to travel, especially if it is warm, but it is convenient.
We first visited the National Trust's Fenton House a Handsome 17th-century merchant’s house with walled garden. Set in the winding streets of Hampstead village, this late 17th-century house contains an outstanding collection of porcelain, 17th-century needlework pictures and Georgian furniture, and the Benton Fletcher collection of early keyboard instruments, most of which are in working order. The delightful walled garden includes fine displays of roses, an orchard and a working kitchen garden.
Fenton House
The gardens were great, though Sue was slightly disappointed that we were not allowed to pick the apples.
The house itself was less interesting as antique instruments and collectable ceramics are not really our thing.
We walked on through the lovely back streets of Hampstead down beside the Heath towards number 2 Willow Road a 1930s Modernist house designed by Goldfinger, and also managed by the National Trust.
The architect Ernö Goldfinger designed and built the house as his family home in 1939. The central house of a terrace of three, it is one of Britain’s most important examples of Modernist architecture and is filled with furniture also designed by Goldfinger. The art collection includes a number of significant British and European 20th-century works by Bridget Riley, Max Ernst and Henry Moore amongst others.
2 Willow Road
This house was much more to our liking. It retained a great feel of the people who lived there and had loads of character. There was a very watchable documentary video about the history of Goldfinger and the house.
It is reputed that Ian Fleming decided to use Goldfinger's name for his notorious Bond villain after playing a round of golf with a mutual friend.
We decided to take the bus some of the way back home, as we didn't fancy the stuffy Tube. Also they journey afforded as a view of the surroundings in a part of town we both are unfamiliar with.
We first visited the National Trust's Fenton House a Handsome 17th-century merchant’s house with walled garden. Set in the winding streets of Hampstead village, this late 17th-century house contains an outstanding collection of porcelain, 17th-century needlework pictures and Georgian furniture, and the Benton Fletcher collection of early keyboard instruments, most of which are in working order. The delightful walled garden includes fine displays of roses, an orchard and a working kitchen garden.
Fenton House
The gardens were great, though Sue was slightly disappointed that we were not allowed to pick the apples.
The house itself was less interesting as antique instruments and collectable ceramics are not really our thing.
We walked on through the lovely back streets of Hampstead down beside the Heath towards number 2 Willow Road a 1930s Modernist house designed by Goldfinger, and also managed by the National Trust.
The architect Ernö Goldfinger designed and built the house as his family home in 1939. The central house of a terrace of three, it is one of Britain’s most important examples of Modernist architecture and is filled with furniture also designed by Goldfinger. The art collection includes a number of significant British and European 20th-century works by Bridget Riley, Max Ernst and Henry Moore amongst others.
2 Willow Road
This house was much more to our liking. It retained a great feel of the people who lived there and had loads of character. There was a very watchable documentary video about the history of Goldfinger and the house.
It is reputed that Ian Fleming decided to use Goldfinger's name for his notorious Bond villain after playing a round of golf with a mutual friend.
We decided to take the bus some of the way back home, as we didn't fancy the stuffy Tube. Also they journey afforded as a view of the surroundings in a part of town we both are unfamiliar with.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Wot I have read…
I like a good read, and with my recent trip to the States and our holiday in Italy, I have had a chance to read the following:
The Portable Door, by Tom Holt.
This book is definitely for geeks. It has more than a few Sci-Fi (Star Trek - the Chekhov gag is great) and Fantasy (D&D and LOTR) references. The story is quite novel and diverting though it is a bit wearing at times. Not bad for a little light fun.
‘Starting a new job can be extremely stressful. You meet your colleagues and forget their names. You meet your boss and forget his name. Then, after breaking the photocopier, you forget your own name.
And the next day you get to do it all again.
But what if your new employer is not the pen-pushing, paper-shuffling outfit you supposed it to be? What if I it is an elaborate front for something far more sinister?
Not that Paul Carpenter, new recruit at J.W.Wells & Co., would even notice. He’s become obsessed with wooing the enigmatic Sophie, a bizarre angular woman with all the sexual appeal of a hole-punch.’
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, by Mark Haddon.
This is a very interesting book for its style if nothing else. It is written from the point of view of a fifteen year old boy who has Asperger’s Syndrome (a type of Autism). The book is littered with diagrams and lists and gives you an impression of how some autistic people might see the world. It can be difficult to get into at times but is well worth the effort.
‘This is a murder mystery novel like no other. The detective, and narrator, is Christopher Boone. Christopher is fifteen and has Asperger’s Syndrome. He knows a very great deal about maths and very little about human beings. He loves lists, patterns and the truth. He hates the colours yellow and brown and being touched. He has never gone further than the end of the road on his own, but when he finds a neighbour’s dog murdered he sets out on a terrifying journey which will turn his whole world upside down.’
Brick Lane, by Monica Ali.
This is a lovely book where little happens. It is a well written story about human nature and our desire for self determination and freedom. I don’t know much about the cultures and places in the book, but nevertheless I found myself carried along.
‘At the tender age of eighteen, Nazneen’s life is turned upside down. After an arranged marriage to a man twenty years her elder she exchanges her Bangladeshi village for a block of flats in London’s East End. In this new world, where poor people can be fat and even dogs go on diets, she struggles to make sense of her existence – and to do her duty to her husband. A man of inflated ideas (and stomach), he sorely tests her compliance.
But Nazneen submits, as she must, to Fate and devotes her life to raising her family and slapping down her demons of discontent. Until she becomes aware of a young radical, Karim.
Against a background of escalating racial and gang conflict, they embark on an affair the finally forces Nazneen to take control of her like…’
The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D.Salinger
I bought this book along with 1984, which I first read in school, and To Kill a Mocking Bird, which I am currently reading, after seeing the Big Read programmes on TV. I though I should ‘educate’ myself by reading some of the ‘modern classics’. So what the hell is this book all about? Actually I did enjoy it even though nothing happens and I was totally unsympathetic to the main character. At the end I did feel as if the story was unfinished and unresolved. The detail and writing in this book is fantastic and apart from some references (value of money, slang, and famous personalities) this story is still very relevant today. There are no sleeve notes, but than you are supposed to be aware of it.
Happy reading.
The Portable Door, by Tom Holt.
This book is definitely for geeks. It has more than a few Sci-Fi (Star Trek - the Chekhov gag is great) and Fantasy (D&D and LOTR) references. The story is quite novel and diverting though it is a bit wearing at times. Not bad for a little light fun.
‘Starting a new job can be extremely stressful. You meet your colleagues and forget their names. You meet your boss and forget his name. Then, after breaking the photocopier, you forget your own name.
And the next day you get to do it all again.
But what if your new employer is not the pen-pushing, paper-shuffling outfit you supposed it to be? What if I it is an elaborate front for something far more sinister?
Not that Paul Carpenter, new recruit at J.W.Wells & Co., would even notice. He’s become obsessed with wooing the enigmatic Sophie, a bizarre angular woman with all the sexual appeal of a hole-punch.’
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, by Mark Haddon.
This is a very interesting book for its style if nothing else. It is written from the point of view of a fifteen year old boy who has Asperger’s Syndrome (a type of Autism). The book is littered with diagrams and lists and gives you an impression of how some autistic people might see the world. It can be difficult to get into at times but is well worth the effort.
‘This is a murder mystery novel like no other. The detective, and narrator, is Christopher Boone. Christopher is fifteen and has Asperger’s Syndrome. He knows a very great deal about maths and very little about human beings. He loves lists, patterns and the truth. He hates the colours yellow and brown and being touched. He has never gone further than the end of the road on his own, but when he finds a neighbour’s dog murdered he sets out on a terrifying journey which will turn his whole world upside down.’
Brick Lane, by Monica Ali.
This is a lovely book where little happens. It is a well written story about human nature and our desire for self determination and freedom. I don’t know much about the cultures and places in the book, but nevertheless I found myself carried along.
‘At the tender age of eighteen, Nazneen’s life is turned upside down. After an arranged marriage to a man twenty years her elder she exchanges her Bangladeshi village for a block of flats in London’s East End. In this new world, where poor people can be fat and even dogs go on diets, she struggles to make sense of her existence – and to do her duty to her husband. A man of inflated ideas (and stomach), he sorely tests her compliance.
But Nazneen submits, as she must, to Fate and devotes her life to raising her family and slapping down her demons of discontent. Until she becomes aware of a young radical, Karim.
Against a background of escalating racial and gang conflict, they embark on an affair the finally forces Nazneen to take control of her like…’
The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D.Salinger
I bought this book along with 1984, which I first read in school, and To Kill a Mocking Bird, which I am currently reading, after seeing the Big Read programmes on TV. I though I should ‘educate’ myself by reading some of the ‘modern classics’. So what the hell is this book all about? Actually I did enjoy it even though nothing happens and I was totally unsympathetic to the main character. At the end I did feel as if the story was unfinished and unresolved. The detail and writing in this book is fantastic and apart from some references (value of money, slang, and famous personalities) this story is still very relevant today. There are no sleeve notes, but than you are supposed to be aware of it.
Happy reading.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
1001 things to do with a courgette…
We are in the middle of the prime growing season and are virtually self sufficient in vegetables (some more than others). Again we seem to have a surplus of courgettes, so we are having these all the time. Luckily Sue has a good recipe for an apple and courgette chutney.
We had a few failures early in the season when we had a cool, wet spell. The onions and garlic did not develop, as they should have. Many were smaller than usual and some became rotten. On the other hand the rain did give the root vegetables a boost and we have had some great potatoes and beetroot.
This year we have been able to grow some more exotic crops (for UK anyway), such as peppers, chillies and aubergine. We have one aubergine at the moment, and the chilli plants are a good size and full of flower. We have had some of the peppers - we had to pick them slightly early as some little pest has been having a nibble (a liberal dosing of natural pest deterrent should fix that).
Last night we had one of my favourite recipes that includes loads of veggies - roast chicken & veggies. It included courgette (naturally), onion, peppers, butternut squash (our first home grown), potatoes, garlic, tomatoes and mushrooms (about the only thing, apart from the chicken, that was not home-grown). All chopped up in a roasting pan and drizzled with chilli oil. Afterwards we had blackberry crumble.
There are quite a few crops that we are looking forward to picking soon like celery and sweetcorn (nothing better than fresh corn cooked and covered in butter).
We had a few failures early in the season when we had a cool, wet spell. The onions and garlic did not develop, as they should have. Many were smaller than usual and some became rotten. On the other hand the rain did give the root vegetables a boost and we have had some great potatoes and beetroot.
This year we have been able to grow some more exotic crops (for UK anyway), such as peppers, chillies and aubergine. We have one aubergine at the moment, and the chilli plants are a good size and full of flower. We have had some of the peppers - we had to pick them slightly early as some little pest has been having a nibble (a liberal dosing of natural pest deterrent should fix that).
Last night we had one of my favourite recipes that includes loads of veggies - roast chicken & veggies. It included courgette (naturally), onion, peppers, butternut squash (our first home grown), potatoes, garlic, tomatoes and mushrooms (about the only thing, apart from the chicken, that was not home-grown). All chopped up in a roasting pan and drizzled with chilli oil. Afterwards we had blackberry crumble.
There are quite a few crops that we are looking forward to picking soon like celery and sweetcorn (nothing better than fresh corn cooked and covered in butter).
I, Robot
We saw 'I, Robot' this weekend with friends. First of all, one thing to note is that when you book tickets in the middle of a heat wave, check that the theatre has air-conditioning (it was sooo hot). We should have known when we saw all the staff fanning themselves. The theatre had signs up stating that 'since the theatre was a listed property it didn't have air-conditioning, and that 'if you feel unwell contact a member of staff'. I wonder how many people had collapsed before they put those notices up?
The movie itself was fine, quite good even. There were some relatively minor gripes:
1. The blatant product placement did become a bit annoying after a while. You could play a game of spot the products (I'm sure I found more than a dozen).
2. Azimov fans could be a little disappointed with some of the details, although some updating was necessary.
3. I still can't totally buy into the CGA/Human mix. The interaction is not quite there yet.
The graphics are good, but again there are nagging doubts where the brain keeps telling you 'it's fake!'
4. The lead character is just way too heroic. Check out the jumping motor bike scene and the leaping over vertigo inducing drops. Totally unnecessary.
Is Will Smith planning on a career in politics? By his choice of movies and characters it seems to me that he wants to be the new, improved, Arnie.
The promotional web sites for the movie and for the robot are very pretty. Find the Movie page at http://www.irobotmovie.com/ and the NS-5 Robot page at http://www.ns-5.com/
The movie itself was fine, quite good even. There were some relatively minor gripes:
1. The blatant product placement did become a bit annoying after a while. You could play a game of spot the products (I'm sure I found more than a dozen).
2. Azimov fans could be a little disappointed with some of the details, although some updating was necessary.
3. I still can't totally buy into the CGA/Human mix. The interaction is not quite there yet.
The graphics are good, but again there are nagging doubts where the brain keeps telling you 'it's fake!'
4. The lead character is just way too heroic. Check out the jumping motor bike scene and the leaping over vertigo inducing drops. Totally unnecessary.
Is Will Smith planning on a career in politics? By his choice of movies and characters it seems to me that he wants to be the new, improved, Arnie.
The promotional web sites for the movie and for the robot are very pretty. Find the Movie page at http://www.irobotmovie.com/ and the NS-5 Robot page at http://www.ns-5.com/
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Waiting for results
Jamie has finished his 'A' level exams now and should be getting his results soon. He has taken IT and Physics and is hoping for good results so that he can go to his first choice university;
Oxford Brookes
He has taken some time off as holiday but for the last few weeks he has been working to earn a few quid. First with Sue's brother (Dave) as a labourer, and now in the IT department at the same company that Sue's sister (Deb) works for.
Oxford Brookes
He has taken some time off as holiday but for the last few weeks he has been working to earn a few quid. First with Sue's brother (Dave) as a labourer, and now in the IT department at the same company that Sue's sister (Deb) works for.
My own private nurse
Sue has added nurse to her collection of skills as she came to sit with me every day as I sat in hospital bringing me little treats and keeping me from becoming bored (though our attempts at the daily crossword were thwarted by our total illiteracy).
One of the side effects of the infection was almost total paralysis of my jaw for a while. This and an ongoing sensitivity in the teeth mean that I found it difficult to eat anything but the softest food. Sue used up some of our last raspberries along with some of the ripe blackberries in a jelly, so we have had jelly and ice-cream a couple of times this week. Fantastic!
Unfortunately Sue has been doing all this to her own detriment as she has been ignoring both a bad tooth and a chest infection. The filling came out of a tooth while we were on holiday, but when I started to experience problems I used her appointment (Sue is no fan of the dentist either). Sue had been taking antibiotics for a cough but they ran out and the cough continued. She did go back to the doctors again yesterday but they sent her to the hospital for an X-Ray and gave her an inhaler. Sue found out that you have to hold inhalers up the right way for them to work - at least that’s what the pharmacist told when she tried to return it as faulty.
One of the side effects of the infection was almost total paralysis of my jaw for a while. This and an ongoing sensitivity in the teeth mean that I found it difficult to eat anything but the softest food. Sue used up some of our last raspberries along with some of the ripe blackberries in a jelly, so we have had jelly and ice-cream a couple of times this week. Fantastic!
Unfortunately Sue has been doing all this to her own detriment as she has been ignoring both a bad tooth and a chest infection. The filling came out of a tooth while we were on holiday, but when I started to experience problems I used her appointment (Sue is no fan of the dentist either). Sue had been taking antibiotics for a cough but they ran out and the cough continued. She did go back to the doctors again yesterday but they sent her to the hospital for an X-Ray and gave her an inhaler. Sue found out that you have to hold inhalers up the right way for them to work - at least that’s what the pharmacist told when she tried to return it as faulty.
Monday, August 02, 2004
More (minor) literary success.
As many of you aware I am an aspiring author and every month I try to submit a story to my Student Group's writing competition. Well I won again this month (admittedly there was only one other entry, but I was quite proud of this story). It is a little rushed and unrefined but here it is nevertheless.
A 600 word short story for 10 to 15 year olds.
I Heard…
I heard the end of the world today. I always thought it would start as a low rumble that you feel rather than hear that would build into a thundering roar so loud that you hear that funny squeaking as your ears distort with the volume. I read somewhere, I think it was in the New Scientist, that the Americans had come up with a sound ray that could shake a person to bits and make their head explode. This was nothing like that though. It was much quieter.
When it happened I was lying underneath my parents' bed. I had taken some of the spare pillows and the winter blanket from the box at the end of the bed and had crawled underneath with them until I was wedged in tight. I could smell the dust in the carpet and the musty smell of the blanket mixing with lemon-fresh fabric-conditioner mum used on the pillowcases. It was a safe place to come where I could daydream.
I often made up stories in my head where I was trapped, perhaps in the rouble of the house after an earthquake. Some unexplained disaster would have occurred and I would be pinned immobile under tonnes of masonry with only a few small gaps where a little air and light could filter through. It wasn't anything to do with self-harm or any of that mental stuff, it was actually about heroically rescuing someone else. Usually it would be a beautiful girl who was also trapped and I would have to overcome my pain and rescue her. Everybody would think I was a hero and I would become famous and the girl who would end up falling in love with me.
I was under the bed when my mum and dad came in. Mum sat on the edge of the bed. I could see her sandals; they were the ones she wore at the beach that had pink and orange plastic flowers on them. Dad was pacing up and down; he was wearing his old brown work shoes. He must have just finished mowing the lawn because I could see bits of grass stuck to the heel.
"It can't go on any more," dad's voice sounded strange, hoarse. "I know we agreed to wait for the sake of Ben, but I can't stand it anymore."
"He's only a child Richard!"
"I know Carol," dad sat down next to mum on the bed. The springs groaned. "But he's nearly twelve now and it would be better to do it now before he goes to High School."
The bed was pushing down on me and I couldn't move. The air seemed stuffier and my mouth was as dry and dusty as the carpet.
I could barely hear mum above the sound of blood pounding in my ears, "What are you suggesting?"
"I could get a flat nearer to work. I'd only need a few bits and pieces and I would make sure you and Ben had everything you needed."
"Damn right you will!" Mum jumped up and rounded on dad. "I can't stop you from going. Even if I wanted to. But I can damn well make sure you look after your son!"
"I know, I know!" dad had stood up and stepped towards mum but she moved away and turned around. The grass had come off his shoe onto the carpet. Mum always insisted we wipe our feet before coming into the house. "Look we'll talk to Ben tonight, quietly and calmly."
I always thought the end of the world would be louder than that.
A 600 word short story for 10 to 15 year olds.
I Heard…
I heard the end of the world today. I always thought it would start as a low rumble that you feel rather than hear that would build into a thundering roar so loud that you hear that funny squeaking as your ears distort with the volume. I read somewhere, I think it was in the New Scientist, that the Americans had come up with a sound ray that could shake a person to bits and make their head explode. This was nothing like that though. It was much quieter.
When it happened I was lying underneath my parents' bed. I had taken some of the spare pillows and the winter blanket from the box at the end of the bed and had crawled underneath with them until I was wedged in tight. I could smell the dust in the carpet and the musty smell of the blanket mixing with lemon-fresh fabric-conditioner mum used on the pillowcases. It was a safe place to come where I could daydream.
I often made up stories in my head where I was trapped, perhaps in the rouble of the house after an earthquake. Some unexplained disaster would have occurred and I would be pinned immobile under tonnes of masonry with only a few small gaps where a little air and light could filter through. It wasn't anything to do with self-harm or any of that mental stuff, it was actually about heroically rescuing someone else. Usually it would be a beautiful girl who was also trapped and I would have to overcome my pain and rescue her. Everybody would think I was a hero and I would become famous and the girl who would end up falling in love with me.
I was under the bed when my mum and dad came in. Mum sat on the edge of the bed. I could see her sandals; they were the ones she wore at the beach that had pink and orange plastic flowers on them. Dad was pacing up and down; he was wearing his old brown work shoes. He must have just finished mowing the lawn because I could see bits of grass stuck to the heel.
"It can't go on any more," dad's voice sounded strange, hoarse. "I know we agreed to wait for the sake of Ben, but I can't stand it anymore."
"He's only a child Richard!"
"I know Carol," dad sat down next to mum on the bed. The springs groaned. "But he's nearly twelve now and it would be better to do it now before he goes to High School."
The bed was pushing down on me and I couldn't move. The air seemed stuffier and my mouth was as dry and dusty as the carpet.
I could barely hear mum above the sound of blood pounding in my ears, "What are you suggesting?"
"I could get a flat nearer to work. I'd only need a few bits and pieces and I would make sure you and Ben had everything you needed."
"Damn right you will!" Mum jumped up and rounded on dad. "I can't stop you from going. Even if I wanted to. But I can damn well make sure you look after your son!"
"I know, I know!" dad had stood up and stepped towards mum but she moved away and turned around. The grass had come off his shoe onto the carpet. Mum always insisted we wipe our feet before coming into the house. "Look we'll talk to Ben tonight, quietly and calmly."
I always thought the end of the world would be louder than that.
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